Ever heard of the poem by Rumi, “The Guest House?” It metaphorically gives a symbolic view of life’s journey and the circumstances of life that a human can encounter. I remember the first time I heard this poem. It was in 2018 and I was sitting in a chair, circled with my classmates at the ending session in my MBSR certificate program. Out of all the poems and meditations I listened to, this one struck me most. It speaks to the mindfulness principle of acceptance, accepted of the unexpected visitor in life: “A Joy, A Depression, A Meanness, The Dark Thought, The Shame, The Malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in,” states Rumi. In a culture of America, where emotions equate to sensitivity or weakness, we can find ourselves not welcoming difficult emotions and circumstances in life, and suppressing and reacting in a form of distress.
Practicing Acceptance
Working Through Attachments
British psychologist John Bowlby was the first attachment theorist. He described attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings." Bowlby was interested in understanding the anxiety and distress that children experience when separated from their primary caregivers (Cherry, 2023).
Women's Health: Healing Medical Mistrust
Women’s health and mental wellness are hot topics in United States politics and media. It seems foreign to discuss women’s health and mental wellness in government spaces, but with the recent formulation of harmful policies, such as abortion bans and black maternal death rates finally being acknowledged, it can be often depressing to be a woman or a new mom of color in our country, as we know it today. Women’s health is at risk, but more specifically black women’s physical health and mental health as it relates to childrearing is at a substantially higher risk. In this blog, I will discuss postpartum depression amongst black women and how often it is underdiagnosed, inequitable healthcare access to receive quality care, and the overall mistrust of Western medicine.
Is There a Path to Healing and Wholeness Following an Unhealthy Partnership?
Many of us either have or will, unfortunately, experience unhealthy partnerships in our lifetimes. Research studies have showcased that 33% of young adults are likely to experience an abusive or unhealthy relationship (Davis, 2008), and up to 80% of individuals nationwide ultimately encounter emotional abuse in a personal relationship (Carney & Barner, 2012). Unhealthy connections cannot only lead to serious short and long-term complications physically (I.e., heart disease, headaches, eating disorders), mentally (i.e., anxiety, depression), and emotionally (i.e., low self-esteem, self-worth, social withdrawal) but show up in multiple arenas amongst friends, family, coworkers, bosses, and romantic couples.
First Step to a Better Outcome
Acceptance is a topic that is often discussed in the mental wellness world but there are different concepts of acceptance. In psychology, acceptance generally means accepting present time thoughts and feelings. This means that we need to learn to accept our emotions and feelings and sit in those emotions and feelings instead of brushing them off. This may sound confusing or counterintuitive to a happy life but learning to accept yourself exactly where you are in each moment has positive outcomes. Learning not to be too hard on yourself for experiencing negative emotions in certain situations can be hard but it is an important skill. It is equally important to accept in the present moment how you feel emotionally or about a certain situation but then allow yourself to move forward.
Accepting Yourself
Self - Kindness was my Key to Self - Compassion
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” – Christopher Germer
Be kind. It is a simple concept and one that many people try to live by. We often try to extend kindness to others and to treat other people with respect, but why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? I have often been described as a kind person.
Self-Compassion: Builiding the House You Live in
“A word after a word after a word is power.” Margaret Atwood tells us. “You cannot build joy on a feeling of self-loathing.” teaches Ram Dass. “The words you speak become the house you live in.” writes the poet Hafiz. All three offer the wisdom that how we speak to and about ourselves influences the ways we show up in the world and engage with others. Language helps us to make meaning of our experiences.
Flourishing Friendship
Unpacking Religious Trauma
Wounded Child Work: Gracefully Loving Myself Toward Healing
What are Attachment Styles and How do They Impact us?
Attachment styles refer to how people think about and behave in relationships. Someone with secure attachment believes their close relationships are trustworthy, whereas someone with insecure attachment tends to distrust or worry about their bond with others (TherapistAid, 2023). Attachment styles are a part of our everyday life in our relationships.