“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” – Christopher Germer
Be kind. It is a simple concept and one that many people try to live by. We often try to extend kindness to others and to treat other people with respect, but why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? I have often been described as a kind person. I go out of my way to make other people feel good and accepted but people often do not know I struggle with kindness – and that struggle is kindness to myself. A couple of years ago, I got a tattoo on my wrist that simply says, “Be kind.” When people ask why I chose to get that tattoo, I tell people it is for two reasons: the first; to remind myself to always be kind to others no matter the situation and the second; to always remind myself to be kind to me! Making the change to treat myself with the same kindness that I give others has changed my mental health in many ways and changed my relationship with myself.
It is not always easy to accept who we are. We are often our own harshest critics and we focus on what we see as our flaws. Something that we all need to learn is self-compassion, not only for others, but for ourselves. Learning self-compassion and acceptance of oneself has a ripple effect on healthy relationships and our own mental well-being. I have experienced the positive effects of self-compassion by making the commitment to be kind to myself. I have allowed myself to be human, to make mistakes, to fall short and to forgive myself for those things. I have learned to talk kind to myself and encourage myself when times get tough.
Practicing self-compassion has led me and many others who practice the same to be less depressed, anxious, insecure and stressed. I also have found that my relationships with my loved ones have changed for the better because I am more positive and optimistic. Overall, it has changed my mental well-being for the better.
Self-compassion is said to have three components: kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. I have focused on the self-kindness component as that is the part that I personally struggled with the most, but all three components are present in self-compassion. It can be easier to work on one component at a time until you feel you are fully self-compassionate. I encourage you to begin practicing self-compassion and kindness to yourself today. It is never too late to give yourself the respect and love you deserve.