“A word after a word after a word is power.” Margaret Atwood tells us. “You cannot build joy on a feeling of self-loathing.” teaches Ram Dass. “The words you speak become the house you live in.” writes the poet Hafiz. All three offer the wisdom that how we speak to and about ourselves influences the ways we show up in the world and engage with others. Language helps us to make meaning of our experiences. When the stories we tell about ourselves are full of demeaning, unkind, and unsympathetic words and phrases, it increases our stress levels, makes it more difficult for us to be kind and compassionate to others, and over time, significantly decreases our motivation to actually make positive changes in our lives (Neff, 2011).
Self-Compassion? Is it REALLY Necessary?
We all encounter uncomfortable spaces, personal and professional challenges, and emotionally shattering situations that stretch the limits of who we are, where we’re going, what we look like afterward. Even with perseverance, the positive self-image, and self-talk that once characterized our being may be distorted or nonexistent. As we begin to put the pieces of ourselves back into place, self-compassion is necessary to accept our present selves and transition to the person we desire to be. How can we begin to show ourselves compassion both consistently and effectively? How does this practice establish the foundation for healthy, caring relationships with others in our world?