grief

Learning Through the Losses: The Real and Raw of Friendship Wounds

Learning Through the Losses: The Real and Raw of Friendship Wounds

I have always had a hard time making friends. I have never really felt like I fit in, and as a child, I was forced to grow up and be an adult–which made things a bit difficult when it came to hanging out with other kids in the same age group. Even now, a month away from my 25th birthday, I can count my friends (that aren’t family, either by blood or marriage) on one hand. To be even more specific, they aren’t the super close friends I talk to every day–one of them I only talk to every few months, another I only am really “friends” with because our sons are friends, and the last one I talk to every few weeks or so. Why am I like this? Sure, it’s partly because of my childhood and my shyness, but another reason I’m like this is because of friendship wounds. Just like in a romantic relationship, when something happens that negatively affects you, you carry it with you into future relationships. It isn’t any different with friendships. Wounds from prior friendships can create an atmosphere where it is harder for us to make new friends, no matter how old we are. 

Growing Together: Friendship Gifts, Griefs, and Grace

Growing Together: Friendship Gifts, Griefs, and Grace

When I was 19, I met a girl through a mutual friend. She was funny, exuded confidence, and said and did whatever she wanted to. She and I were both tentative with each other. We circled cautiously but eventually found ourselves laughing hysterically at the same things. This would be the beginning of an almost 30-year friendship. This friendship would sometimes be tumultuous, yet it is the most loyal relationship I've ever had—the longest outside of my family. Our relationship even surpassed my marriage. However, there have been hurtful moments along the way. Some were petty, some we were not sure we'd recover from, some we had to take breaks from each other, and some brought us closer than we ever thought we could be. For lack of a better description, she is my "ride or die" because of the honesty and painful confrontations our friendship has gone through. 

Navigating Grief and Loss

Navigating Grief and Loss

Loss is an inevitable part of life that impacts everyone in different ways. Loss can come in various forms, from the passing of a spouse, to the loss of a friendship, even to the termination of employment. As we have pushed through the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, we come to a terrifying realization of how quickly life, relationships, and/or jobs can be taken out of our grasp.