Everyone deserves healthy relationships. It is important to understand that, “All relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive, with unhealthy relationships somewhere in the middle,” (Domestic Violence Hotline, 2020). It's important to be knowledgeable of the relationship spectrum and the different signs that lead to an unhealthy or abuse relationship. It is not only important to have a healthy relationship with your significant other, in order to help prevent Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), but also with friends, family members, as well as colleagues. The following will give readers a glimpse of the relationship spectrum and ways to distinguish the type of relationship you have from the relationship you may desire. 

Healthy Relationships

First, healthy relationships are important to foster positive mental health. In a healthy relationship there is: communication, trust, honesty, respect, mutual choices, boundaries, as well as equity with responsibilities. Communication is key component for a healthy relationship because it helps us to be aware of our partners feelings. Having positive communication can also help you express your feelings and prevent unnecessary issues. One skill that is beneficial for positive communication is active listening. Active listening is a skill that teaches you how to listen to understand, instead of listening to respond. In heated conversations, take the time to actively listen to your partner or friend and see if you can hear what they may have an issue with. This can help both individuals gain a better understanding of what is going on and sometimes how to fix it.  Another example of an important quality of a healthy relationship is mutual choices. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to make your own decisions and not have to worry about repercussions from your significant other. Being controlled and unable to decide things for yourself, can be a sign that your relationship is becoming unhealthy or abusive. 

Unhealthy Relationships

Equally important are the signs of an unhealthy relationship. You may be in an unhealthy relationship if your current relationship lacks communication, trust, honesty, or if your partner is controlling. You may also be in an unhealthy relationship if you are pressured into activities, or if you are experiencing constant disrespect. Being in a controlling relationship is very serious and can become extremely dangerous. Your partner or friend should not dictate what you can and cannot do, what you can wear, who you can speak to etc. It is also unhealthy to only spend time with that person and no one else. You begin to be consumed with that individual and lose other healthy and beneficial relationships. No matter what age you are, you should never let anyone pressure you into activities you do not want to partake in. If you find that your significant other or friend constantly pressures you into activities, especially illegal or life-threatening activities, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. 

Abusive Relationships

Finally on the relationship spectrum is abusive relationships. Intimate partner violence, neglect, and other forms of abuse is an issue that many individuals face all across the world. You may be in an abusive relationship if: there is violence of any kind, your partner communicates in a hurtful or threatening way, if they are controlling, if your partner isolates you from others that care about you, if they deny their actions are abusive, if you are taken advantage of sexually or financially, if they are mistreating you, etc. It is important to check for the signs of an abusive relationship not only in the beginning of your relationship, but also for the duration of that relationship. If you are experiencing feelings of fear for your life, unhappiness, anxiety, and unwantedness from your friend or significant other, you may be in an abusive relationship. 

At this point you may be wondering, “How do I move my relationship from unhealthy or abusive to healthy and loving?” First, it is important to understand that you are not to blame for individuals treating you in an unloving way. Healthy relationships take two individuals being willing to work to better it. One helpful resource for bettering communication, trust, respect, honesty, etc., would be individual and couples’ therapy. Through psychoeducation you can learn skills needed to build a healthy relationship, such a active listening. Therapy is also good for building self-esteem, discussing difficult situations or trauma, as well as for mediation when experiencing a toxic or unhealthy relationship. Remember, everyone deserves a healthy relationship, and You deserve to be loved and respected by all. 

References 

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/healthy-relationships/ 

https://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/relationship-spectrum/