Self-love is...

Making time for yourself every day.
Loving yourself for your personality.
Honoring your boundaries.
Standing up for your values.
Taking a break.
and Compassion for your mistakes.

The path to self-love can be a rugged journey.  Filled with people, places and things you want to remain in your past despite all having brought you to the light. My self-love journey started with the lowest place of my life and blossomed into my own self-discovery. The process began with shame. Shame about the things that I was allowing in my life that I shouldn’t have. Shame because I knew there was something better for myself, yet I didn’t know how to get there because I didn’t who I really was. Initially I released the anger, forgave others, and did a ton of research. I theraperized myself. I tried to understand the how’s and whys behind my low self-esteem and shame. I began to heal.

Still it was a battle. I felt lost. I was afraid. “My fear couldn’t have come from God” I thought but for a time I remained stuck. Eventually I began to listen and this listening led to my reconnection with God. As I began to cultivate a safe space with God, there was a resurgence of my primary spiritual relationship. He taught me how to truly love others, and in that process, I learned how to love myself. I began to forgive myself which for me can be described as “I could have only done the best I could with the information I had at that time.” I accepted the moment I was in, and it is this new knowing that has anchored and kept me steadfast on this path.

When is the last time you told yourself, “I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at that time” after making a mistake? When is the last time you said “No” in sacrifice of someone else’s feelings to honor your intuition? When is the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and smiled at yourself? Those are all steps toward self-love. Sometimes life feels so cloudy and we just want to feel truly SEEN but don’t know where to start. Here are 3 bite sized steps you can take toward greater self love:

1. CREATE A SAFE SPACE: The moment I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself, I was beginning to create a safe place. When I allowed for the reconnection with God I was doing the same. While these are not my only safe spaces they do represent two of them. Where is your safe place? A safe space can be one that exists in your mind and in reality. This is a place where you can close your eyes and feel safe and uninterrupted. Is it home in bed late at night, or early in the morning? Is it at your favorite park? Is it in your car on the way to work? Try creating a safe space to connect with yourself in silence, and truly see yourself first.

2. HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS: The “no” I give to honor my intuition is only possible when I am able to hear my own thoughts. What does your inner voice sound like? Is it critical, or compassionate? Are you slowing down long enough to listen? How is your breathing? Is it frequently shallow or steady? Where does your mind wander? Are you living in a place reminiscent of your past, striving for the future or here in the present? Listen to your voice to increase your connection to self love.

3. CENTER YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT OF NOW: “ I did my best at this time” was one of my first ventures into being in the moment. Up until then, I struggled with the depression of looking back and the anxiety of looking forward. When I gave myself permission to be ok with my now, I began to love myself better. I invite you to connect to this moment right now to experience a deeper sense of self love.

Self love is a journey. Paired with self reflection, self discovery, a therapist can help release those suppressed experiences and feelings that could block your path to self love. Only you know what’s truly best for you. Taking time for yourself is truly an act of self-love.